what if you got a dollar for everytime you masturbated
I feel as fucking useless as a white fucking crayon
u just gotta find someone who prefers black paper my friend
that was the most beautiful thing i’ve ever read
I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.
Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.
We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming."
You might find it annoying that I’m so affectionate and tell you I love you every day, but one day I’ll be gone, and you’ll know I loved you, and hopefully that will comfort you.(via flygex-eatin-on-softies)
Things that are bullshit in Greek mythology-based fiction stories:
- TREATING ROMAN AND GREEK GODS AS THE SAME OR EQUIVALENT: fuuuuuck you there were many, many differences between the Greek and Roman Gods, your stupid little middle school class lied. Apollo and Apollon are nigh identical but basically everyone else is very different. Athena is not Minerva, Artemis is not Diana, Ares is not Mars. Haides doesn’t even HAVE a similar Roman deity.
- Pluto as a Roman deity: yo Pluto/Plouton wasn’t Roman Pluto was another GREEK name for the GREEK god Haides (who you call Hades) Pluto/Plouton is what you call him when you’re talking about him being the God of riches and treasure like how you sometimes call Apollo Phoebus.
- Apollo as the sun/driver of the sun chariot: That’s Helios, Helios and Apollo weren’t syncretized into the same deity until long, long after ancient Greece. As in, hundreds of years after Jesus. Don’t be historically inaccurate. Only assholes are historically inaccurate.
Note: also goes for Artemis as the moon. Selene is the moon.
- Kronos as monstrous lava monster demon thing: the Titans were always depicted as beautiful humanoid beings, just as the Gods were.
- Ares as villain/asshole/thug/misogynist/shitty parent: being in charge of an unpopular subject matter does not make a God the scum of the earth, or abusive, or neglectful. Ares was particularly notable for being a devoted father to his offspring and is one of the few Gods without a rape story. Longer explanation of this subject here.
- Aphrodite as slut: no, really, fuck you. Fuck you and everything you love. Fuck your horse, fuck your family, fuck your ancestors, fuck everything you’ve ever touched.
- Haides as the devil/the Underworld as Hell: the Greek afterlife was for most deceased mortals a relatively peaceful eternity, without fire and torment and misery. Haides was considered a God to be respected for his power and solemnity, but that does not equate to considering him evil or terrible.
- Hera as a jealous bitch: yo Hera was one of the most widely worshiped and beloved deities in the pantheon. Stop taking the Iliad as holy writ, Homer had a noted bias atypical to the traditional mythology.
- anyone but Bellerophon or Zeus using Pegasus/more than one Pegasus in your story/anyone but Theseus killing the Minotaur/anyone but Perseus killing Medusa/anyone but Hercules killing the Boar, Lion, Hydra, etc/Perseus as son of any god but Zeus: dude read a book some time y’all need to get your stories straight Greek heroes aren’t interchangeable also fuck that Percy Jackson son of Poseidon bullshit you are being a moron. Also, Pegasus, singular. One. Solo. Pegasus is an individual “person.” There are not “pegasi”. That’s like saying Zeuses. Or Athenas. Or Poseidons.
- The entire contents of the Clash of the Titans films: just stop. Please. Stop.
- other Gods being able to defeat Zeus: yo Zeus once demolished a rebellion by the other Gods and is known to be more powerful than the other Olympians combined.
- Stories set in modern times whose plots rely on pretending modern pagans don’t exist: don’t give me this “I HAVE TO CLIMB OLYMPUS TO CONTACT THE GODS” bullshit I have three fucking shrines in my bedroom alone
- Hekate with kids or as an old woman: virgin goddess, guys, virgin goddess.
- Prometheus as hating humans: listen asshole Prometheus was tortured for millenia for how much he cared about humans don’t be a dick to Prometheus do you hear me I will cut a bitch
- Hermes the meanie trickster bully: yo Hermes was called the Friend of Man just because he’s a trickster doesn’t make him malicious
- Athena with a ton of kids: VIRGIN. GODDESS. Oh and you want to trot out that “but they’re BRAIN children!” claim? When Athena was born from Zeus’ head, it’s because he ATE her mother. If you’re going to claim Athena’s children were brain babies I want to see your book mention her eating humans. Go on. I dare you.
- Artemis the man-hater: yo she’s the goddess of hunting who do you think did the most hunting OH RIGHT MEN
- Dionysus as some old fat alcoholic dude: dude this is a sculpture of Dionysus what is wrong with you people
- Bonus for the Egyptian pantheon: calling Egyptian gods by Greek names (Thoth instead of Djehuty, Anubis instead of Anpu, etc).
((if you reblog, PLEASE REBLOG AS TEXT, NOT AS LINK. Go to the gear symbol in the upper right when you reblog and click text. That will stop your pesky auto-truncate problem. Sorry, that just drives me nuts))
Well. That was one of the quickest character developments I’ve seen…
Are you seriously telling me that all that villainous squinting and peering about is because he’s meant to be wearing glasses
because that’s amazing
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Dude, Scarleteen saved my shit back in the day. They’ve been around since 1998 and I assure you, they deserve every single penny you can throw at them!
oh my god they did it!
NO WAY IN!NO WAY OUT!
One of my fave lines from Ray.
They’re pouring latex on him to make a false chest. So that they can place the arc reactor prop in him and make it legitimately look like it’s embedded in is flesh and with tears and scar tissue. The latex is colored so they can see where they are applying and how thick the layers are. It will then be airbrushed to his skintone and details like nipples scar tissue discoloration will be added.
Here’s that picture
Then the reactor prop is added to the dimple. Basically the latex becomes fake skin and they tear part of the center open to embed it.
Now you can see how realistic it looks.
I cannot express enough how much I love little behind the scenes things like this.
they got paid to do this, too…
makeup artists are my favorite thing ever
I find it comical when women think I care about
If one titty is slightly bigger than the other
Bumps or discoloration
If I have you naked in front of me and I am naked too, the only thing on my mind is where am I putting my mouth first
This turned me on
I need to like add this permanently to my blog, shit is too relevant
i love this
Sun melting crayons time-lapse rainbow [video]
OH MY GOD
notice the one yellow-green crayon that’s too cool to melt
notice the red starts slow then BAM
just like a period
just like a period
Mallory Ortberg on fire on twitter today (as usual).
Aren’t we talking about the Austrian contestant for the Eurovision Song Contest Conchita Wurst already?
I mean look
at that person
not giving a fuck
about your gender rules
And then there’s this voice
I’m in for Conchita to win Eurovision 2014
This has made me ready for Eurovision.